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That's my thing, I guess

Some folks were surprised to see they / them pronouns on my about page.

What’s your pronoun? has always been a difficult question to answer. Do I have to have a pronoun? refrains through my mind. I’m never prepared.

(Long pause.) I'm she, they, he—you?

Usually it’s a jumble of pronouns. I deprioritize he. Collect and respect theirs. What I don’t say is that my experience of gender is compulsory.

It’s navigating the assumptions and expectations that gender projects onto all of us. While weighing a binary that’s arbitrary and for many a death sentence. Because it’s inexplicably woven through every fabric of our society.

Somehow I won a cosmological lottery to be trapped inside this body. I was assigned and socialized male so those pronouns followed me like a shadow. But I don’t identify with any of them intrinsically.

Gendervague is the simplest articulation of this experience. Non-binary pronouns are the best available option. Or whatever.